We’ve all been there, at some point we had a lost love that we had a hard time to let go of.
It’s hard to let go of someone you once shared love with but it is necessary to let go when things turn sour and the relationship is no more. It may seem like a selfish move to just act like nothing ever happened to the wonderful thing that once existed, but it’s vital for your inner peace and overall health.
It’s normal to feel fear, sadness, anger, jealousy, but always put yourself first and choose to move on and let go if the relationship no longer serves its purpose.
In most cases when you feel you have to let go and move on, then there are already more reasons as to why you have to.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it’s letting go — Hermann Hesse
Learning To Let Go Is A Process
1 . Cut Any Kind Of Contact
Before you do anything, you’re going to first cut off all contact with the person. This is a very necessary step since on this others will be implemented smoothly.
You’ll never heal if you have means of contacting the person who hurt you. Deleting all their contact, social media platforms, and any possible contact you may have with them is crucial in that you can never reach out to them when your vulnerable and thinking of reaching them.
2 . Acknowledge Your Feeling
You need to feel your feelings, acknowledge what your feeling at hand. Bottling it all inside and hiding from them will cause more harm than good. The more you disregard your feelings the harder it will be to heal the wound.
Don’t run from the pain, face it head-on. It may be an uncomfortable process but it’s needed so that in the long run it all doesn’t have any effect on you at all.
3 . Forgive Yourself
Don’t beat up yourself for things that went wrong in the relationship. Take those mistakes as learning lessons or stones to step on and better yourself as a person. Nobody is perfect and it is wrong to beat up yourself in areas you feel inadequate. Whatever failed the relationship should only be reflected on if it has a lesson to teach you, is it you couldn’t express yourself and therefore taken for granted? is it overbearing such that the other party took advantage of that with the confidence you’ll take them back? whatever the reason learn from what happened and more importantly forgive yourself to heal the underlying wounds.
4 . Get Back In Control Of The Situation
In relationships, we tend to give power and control over to other person but now its time to have it back. They tend to linger in our minds, occupy our memories most especially if they broke up with us and broke our hearts. Now the solution here is you taking it that they did you a favor by leaving and therefore let go of them since they don’t want to be in your life and give them no attention.
Now its time for you to take back your life in a way you choose to steer it. Take time out and be social, try out things you’ve been afraid to do, invest your time into something your passionate about, begin working out and look good, upgrade yourself to a new and improved version. Now it’s your time to take back control and run your life.
5 . Take All The Time You Need
Just like in the grieving process time plays a great role in the healing process. Take time to heal first. Manage your expectations to avoid disappointments in the future. Permit and allow yourself to grieve the loss and then move on with no baggage holding you back. Through it, all remember there are no quick fixes.
6 . What Do You Really Want From A Relationship
Get a checklist and a clear picture of what exactly you want out of a relationship. Evaluate what went wrong with the previous one to not repeat the same mistakes and draw ground rules on what to accept and what to not. Know for sure that you deserve to be treated right, spoilt and take nothing less.
7 . Practice Gratitude Always
For the good that was in the past relationship, say thank you and also for the bad that happened say thank you for the lessons learned. Be expectant of good things to happen to you. Wake up and begin each new day with expectations that it’s going to be the best day of your life.
When you are grateful for all you have, be it good or bad, you are a step closer to finding the right partner since you’re in the right mindset.
8 . Love And Take Care Of Yourself
Travel! Absolutely just take a trip to a happy and beautiful place and clear your mind of any clutter. Get new memories, connections and with time the old memories will get replaced. Hit the gym and get your dream body, eat healthy meals, rest enough, look good, feel good and fall in love with yourself.